My Pre-Performance Ritual

Everyone has that order of events that must be done before any major audition, performance, or in my case this week, a jury.
I usually like to be by myself. I don't need the distractions and thoughts or anxieties of others to get in my head and throw me out of focus. Doing my hair and make up is really calming, I can't really give you logic as to why. But looking my best helps me do my best. Plus the whole process is really fun :)
If there are people around, like family bf etc., they've learned to just do what I tell them and everyone will get out of the situation alive. I don't need any extra nerves than the ones I'm already creating myself.
I run my set just once. I don't want to get over-worked and waste my best notes in the practice room. If I'm listening to any music, it's not my rep. I need to remember my interpretations of my pieces, not have someone else's in my head.
I always arrive to the audition area early. I'm not the most social person, especially if I don't know you. I'm trying to get in the zone so leave me be!! I never listen to anyone performing before me. There's no need to worry about other people except for me.
A diet coke and then water galore is the only thing I will touch before I sing. The diet coke is so I'm not too flabby, I guess? Plus it's yummy.
Then I turn on my smile, walk in the room, and do my thing.

Those Diva Moments

Looking to the Future

Do you ever focus so much about the future that you lose sight of the present? This happens to me, more than I would like to admit. I like to plan ahead, I like when I can control my next move, I like knowing what's going to happen next. Particulary at the end of this school year, I'm planning what life is gonna look like this summer, and then further anticipate what next fall is going to bring. But then I have to pull myself back and say hey, you still have several finals left and a jury to still do. We can't move forward quite yet.
It's hard to take that though. The future is so open-ended. Anything can happen. There are so many options out there and it's not completely determined yet. You can shape it and design to exactly what you want. There's so much power in that, it's exilerating.

Truth be O-tell-o-ed

The Baritone Hiding in the Shadows

            Operas generally focus on the title role character or a romantic relationship. There is a consistent voice part that always seems to get overlooked in these storylines: the baritone. It’s not like there isn’t a role written for a baritone, it is generally the role of the best friend to the tenor. In Otello, Iago (the baritone) is labeled as Otello’s closest companion, and is always on stage when dramatic events occur to intensify the plot. In this case, it is because of Iago’s scheming that the drama increases.

            Men are typically greedy for power and will stop at nothing in getting the power they think they are entitled to. Iago’s motivations are no different as he slowly destroys Otello’s marriage, leading him to suicide. Iago’s plot begins in getting another tenor, Cassio, to believe that his love Desdemona is tiring of her husband, Otello. It is quickly releaved that Iago hates Cassio and is not losing any sleep in screwing him over in the process of messing with Otello. Cassio is simply a tool in Iago’s scheme in driving Otello mad with jealousy of his wife. Desdemona loves Otello, and Otello loves Desdemona as well. Without the interference of Iago, these two would have a long and happy marriage. When Desdemona attempts to convince Otello of giving Cassio his promotion back, it is the perfect fuel for Otello’s temper. Iago pushes the limit by creating rumors that sound of Desdemona’s infidelity and Otello proclaims he will kill his wife as punishment.

            That night, Otello approaches Desdemona and strangles her. Others come into the room, including Iago, once the deed is done. Too many voices and realizations flood Otello’s conscious and wants to kill himself. Others restrain him and they leave the room when he gives up his sword. Only when Iago, Desdemona and himself are in the room, Otello reveals another hidden knife. He then stabs himself, Iago leaves the room, and Otello dies next to his wife. The baritone wins.

            I suppose it’s important to mention that Otello holds military power and that is what Iago is sought after. It’s just hard to grasp the level of truth of humans this opera reveals. Some people will stop at nothing to gain the power and glory they feel they deserve. Otello trusted Iago. Desdemona claimed justice and she was punished for it. Cassio was used only as a tool in an evil scheme, that makes four people that were collateral damage in Iago’s quest for more power. It’s the hard lessons like these that need to be told in creative ways in order for people to see the mistakes in everyday life. The performing arts make our reality seem like a place we don’t want to associate with. But every story still needs to be told. 

Commentary on Rusalka

The Life Lessons between Measures

It is a common activity for a parent to read or tell their child a fairytale. It’s part of a western childhood to know the common fairytales. But it is uncommon to see a fairytale or supernatural story to be told in an opera. Watching Rusalka was my first fairytale opera experience. Although it isn’t realistic to sing to the moon, or for a water nymph to fall in love with a human and then kill him with a kiss, these stories always teach us a lesson. Rusalka taught me that it is part of growing up to wander away from home, but the lessons are not always the easiest ones to accept.

All fairytales seem to start the same way. The hero or heroine is unhappy with where they start their story whether it is that they don’t fit in, or the person they’ve fallen in love with doesn’t notice them in their current state. A single father attempts to change the mind of his teenage daughter, but no words can change a girl’s mind at that age. Lesson #1: always listen to your parents. The adventure begins by trusting a creepy looking witch to change the heroine’s stature to blend in with the new world. Rusalka lays on as many compliments that she can muster to Jezibaba. What the witches don’t tell you is that the story never ends happily, and that the witch is always right. Lesson #2: never trust a witch with missing teeth.

 Once you find the guy and get him to take you back to his palace without saying a word, beware of the other woman. Lesson #3: there is always another woman, who can talk. The prince in these stories always seem to get distracted at the ball and runs off with the other woman, leaving the heroine standing awkwardly on the grand staircase watching everyone else have fun. The heroine, who is still a teenager mind you, decides that her life is over and that death is the only thing that will stop the agony. Lesson #4: never decide when it’s your own time to die, the supernatural world might agree with you for the story’s sake.

           After returning home and being shunned from her family, Rusalka returns to Jezibaba to be told NOW that the witch is always right. Killing the man she loves isn’t an option, so Rusalka sings a little to try to accept that the rest of her life isn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows. By now, the prince realizes his mistake and has yet to realize that he is too late. Also realizing that there is no life without his princess, the prince decides death with his love is better than life alone. Lesson #5: never listen to the crazy tenor prince. He has a way with words and gets you to do crazy things, like give him the kiss of death. Lesson #6: it’s called the kiss of death for a reason; you don’t feel too good about doing it afterwards.

           So, fairytales require learning from mistakes the hard way. I’m all for learning life lessons, but sometimes these stories takes it a tad too far. But hey, the drama is worth being told. That explains why they make these stories into operas: they fit right into the genre.

Owning up to the stereotypes

So, I'm a soprano. And I know alllll the stereotypes that can exist with this title. I know, because I can relate to most or all of them. When I googled "Soprano singer stereotypes" this is all I could find:

THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewelry, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half again as long as the composer and/or conductor requires, and then complain that their throats are killing them and that the composer and conductor are sadists. Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonize with, but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in the stratosphere showing off. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth - they sing too damn loud, are useless to tune to because they're down in that low, low range - and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the F clef, anyway.

Alright, this is a little extreme. I love fancy hair, jewelry, dramatic makeup, and swishy skirts more than anyone you will ever come across. You will never catch me dead in yoga pants unless it's Saturday and I can hide in my room or sneak into a practice room without being seen. I'm embaressed to be seen without make up on, I do my hair everyday, and anything without a heel cannot be called a shoe. 
But what is it about sopranos thinking they are better than everyone else??? Umm hello, you want any instrumentalist who would some day be accompanying to LIKE YOU so they don't screw up their part on purpose to make you look bad. Because I'm sure all you instrumentalists out there would just LOVE to do that if the soprano or any singer is bitchy or diva-y enough.
Also, my family nickname is "The Diva". Laugh it up, judge me like there's no tomorrow, but I'm sorry, every performer has some level of Diva in them. Otherwise, we wouldn't be performing for the rest of our lives. It's just that plain and simple. What I am always careful of though is making sure that I have done the necessary things to act like a Diva. That means being gracious to the other musicians I am working with, ask questions about other instruments I don't understand, be respectful, have some talent and a lot of passion and most importantly know the work that needs to be done in order to be the best and then DO IT. 
Like Nike says, Just Do it.
I'm not great at complicated rhythms, I absolutely hate music theory, I like listening to myself sing/talk too much to be considered normal, I also sing sentences that I should just speak. I am a diva. I want those intense stare-down kinda head shots. I can go on and on. 
But I won't. I'll see if anyone else has comments. This is a global music issue anyways.
Until next time,
sopranodivaEm

I'm not the only one... Right?

I feel extremely strong about this concept and I'm curious to see if I'm crazy for believing this is true.

College is ideally just how life is going to be once we're out of school.
You learn new things everyday.
You sing and practice new and old pieces, discovering more about your voice along the way.
You disagree and argue with people. Sometimes it's someone you love and really care about, other times it's someone you can't stand and it would be just awful if they turned out to be right and you turned out to be wrong.
You get up, you're tired, you get things done that you have to do, not necessarily wanting to, and you take a nap to make it through the next part of your day.
Some days go better than you expect, some days are worse, and some you have absolutely no expectations or goals at all.
Life pushes your limits and stretches your boundaries. Some days you don't bounce back and some days you do.
College is supposed to prepare us for the rest of our lives. It's not EXACTLY like the real thing, but it's close enough that life shouldn't feel so unexpected.
I feel more prepared to sing for an audition in three years than I do for taking a keyboard final in three days.
Does that make me weird? I can't figure it out.
But even if it does make me weird, there's really nothing much I can do about it anyway. So I'm just gonna let it happen.
What're your thoughts?
sopranodivaEm

Mozart's Muses

Feminism has been in existence for much longer than any research that has been recorded. Media has been in existence just as long. When today’s teenagers hear the word “media”, they think of technology, Facebook, the top 100 list of pop songs. When I hear the word “media”, I think of music. When I think of music, I think of opera and my favorite composers. Mozart will always hold a special place in my heart, giving me so many wonderful arias that have helped shape the musician I am today. This assignment led me to wonder: who were the women in Mozart’s life? How did they shape the beautiful music he created? How were these women perceived in society compared to other women? Here are my findings:

Mozart became particularly close with the Weber family during his days of travel and composing in various countries in Europe. He became even closer with two of their daughters, first the eldest Aloysia, then the middle Constanze. Aloysia was the money maker for the family, the young beautiful girl that had the voice ever composer, including Mozart, wanted to write for. Mozart wrote many letters to his father during his travels. One he wrote about Aloysia told this story: “I have also set to music the aria Non so donde viene etc [K294], … for Mlle Weber… When it was finished, I said to Mlle Weber, ‘Learn the aria yourself. Sing to me and afterwards I will tell you candidly what pleases and what displeases me.’ After a couple of days I went to the Webers and she sang it for me, accompanying herself. I was obliged to confess that she had sung it exactly as I wished and as I should have taught it to her myself” (104 Glover). Aloysia made Mozart’s music come alive, as well as his human soul. Composers strive for that perfect person, in this case, soprano, to bring the music they hear in their head out in the open. When Mozart found Aloysia and she did this for his music so naturally, he fell in love with her and her talents.

But unfortunately, Aloysia was not as in love with Mozart as she was with what his music did for her career. When Mozart returned to the Weber household after traveling through Italy, the second Weber daughter caught his attention. Although Constanze did not have the same artistic talent that her sister did, her passion for Mozart and his music was more than fulfilling for him. He spoke of her in this way: “My dear Constanze is really the cause of this fugue’s coming into the world[…] she asked me if I had ever written any down, and when I had said I had not, she scolded me […] and never ceased to entreat me until I wrote down a fugue for her. So that is its origin” (121 Glover).  Despite Mozart’s father’s wishes, and the multiple public rumors, the two got married without any financial agreement. Mozart loved Constanze with all his heart. She gave him motivation and passion to create his music. Sometimes all a human being needs is another to believe in their capabilities.

I find it strange and scandalous that Mozart found two muses out of one family. I can only imagine the awkward wedding poses and family get togethers with both sisters and Mozart in such close space. But, in Mozart’s time, life was shorter scientifically than it is today. Each moment and each relationship matters and adds to creating memories and music.  “Art is long and life is short” (Davis 353). Earning the privilege to help create music that would be enjoyed for lifetimes long after theirs, Mozart’s women knew they were helping to create beautiful, artistic music.

It is in women’s nature to take care of their men. The Weber sisters took care of Mozart differently, but it was as meaningful to them as it was to him. “ ‘It was the only thing I knew. I was looking for a comfort’” (Thompson 345). The same way women today look to food or control of their bodies, women of Mozart’s time looked to a man to take care of them, and in return, take care of him as well. Mozart’s women knew they would be taken care of as long as they fed his creative needs and inspiration. The only difference between today’s women and the women of Mozart’s time is the approach women take to changing the world. Mozart’s muses took an indirect approach in assisting one of the best composers of all time. Today, women take direct action themselves. They got tired of standing in the background

Finding my voice I

Now I'm only nineteen, so have absolutely no conception of how my voice is going to turn out. In truth, I don't think any singer ever discovers what their voice is until after it's already changed again.
That's the tricky thing about being a singer. My dad always says the body is our instrument. We have to take care of it, be gentle with it, and understand that practically anything can affect it. (The weather, emotions, levels of stress, what we eat or drink, how much sleep we get, how much partying we do, the way we speak. The list can literally go on forever.) But with that, singers have to learn how to adapt to change, produce some sort of sound so we get paid at the end of the day. So if you're someone who's thinking about going into music, I don't mean to scare you, but this life is HARD. I'm not even doing it completely yet. 
I mentioned my dad, he's in the business. He's sung with major opera companies, big time choruses, teaches at a college, is the music director of our church, delegate for unions of these companies, and on top of all of that, a dad and a husband. And a fine one at that. Moral of the story is, I've gotten a taste of what I'm getting myself into. 
However, I don't want to live my dad's life. I want to live my own. I want to be Renée Fleming's 

protégée. (The possibility of this happening is actually realistic, but more on that later). I want to travel. I want to sing in major venues and opera stages everywhere. I want to give recitals all over everywhere. I want to sing major roles. I want to be one of the stars. And I refuse to take no for an answer. 

None of this is going to happen over night. It's going to takes days of practicing, hours of creating bios and resumes, taking hundreds of rejections before that one yes that will be all the difference and (hopefully!!!) change my life forever. A singer must be marketable, teachable, a pleasure to work with, have the passion, have the talent and a singer has to want it. That's the most important thing. This world, this life, is so competitive that even the chance that anyone could do something else, they'll thank me later if they chose to do that instead. I need to do this life because I can't see myself doing anything else. Maybe in reincarnation I could be doing something different, but not in this life. Not while I'm in control of my own destiny. Maybe I sound crazy. Maybe I sound like a diva. Okay fine! I'm those things and a whole lot more. Being a singer is being myself. And I don't want to be anyone else. 

Until next time.

sopranodivaEm

Some background

Sometimes I think that the more you talk about who you are as a person to others, the more you figure it out for yourself. So why not take the opportunity to do it again?
I'm from Chicago. I have three younger siblings. I have two loving and supportive parents. I met my boyfriend through my home church. Music has always been a part of my life, and I plan to make a career out of it. I'm not the most "well-off" person you'll come across, but I'm not scrambling either. I hope to live my life financially so I'm not living off peanut butter and water from my sink at the end of every month. You know, comfortably.
I'm a freshman at the Cleveland Institute of Music. I study with Dr. Southern, a published and accomplished performer and teacher. I'm eager to learn many things from him. I absolutely love CIM. The singer community is small, close and yet still competitive. I'm one of about twelve undergrads, but singing with about 60 other grad/professional studies students constantly makes it seem like the real world. All the other instrumentalists I've come across so far are all passionate and willing to learn about everyone's forms. I feel like the music world will be much more genuine if we appreciate all instruments and the skill it takes to do it well. Theory will never be my best friend though.
I work several jobs in the summer. I like to shop, I like coffee every day and I like to go out and have fun. I don't want to ask my parents for money because they are already paying for half of my education. They have three other kids after me to get through college too. I feel like it's my responsibilty as an older sister to be sure they have the same resources and opportunity as I have. I feel so fortunate.
And I've been through some traumatic experiences that have made me appreciate life more than ever before.
But I'm not ready to share that sob story yet. I want y'all to like my blog first before I bring some clouds to your sunny day.
It's 50 degrees, breezy and sunny in Cleveland. It feels wonderful. The last thing I want to do is sit in a practice room and perfect this folk song for class.
But alas, such is the life of a conservatory student.
Until next time.
sopranodivaEm

Let's try this

I've always wanted to write a blog. I've seen it in movies, I even had to do it for an English assignment once. But I always stopped to think, what would I write about? Would anyone read it? Would I want people to read it?
But hey, I'm wrapping up my first year of college. College is supposed to be about trying new things, figuring out who you are. Writing has been helpful to be in that way before. And considering the kind of freshman year I had, I figured it'd be beneficial to start writing again.
I won't bore you with what my year has entailed just yet. If any of you know me personally, you already know what the subject matter will most likely be in the next few posts. And for those of you who don't, if there is anyone out there who is curious enough to read these stories, then I hope you can learn something about yourself right along with me.
So let's try this, shall we?
Until next time.

sopranodivaEm