Napa Music Festival 2015

I'm here in Napa Valley, CA for my first summer program. I'm in the chorus of our production of Tales of Hoffmann, and three scenes. We also perform/observe master classes, concerts, lessons and coachings.
I just got out of a coaching of the first scene from Hänsel and Gretel. It's so much fun! I haven't done a duet scene before. I love collaborating with a partner, director and pianist. I get to become a 10 and a 1/2 year old again, bossing around my little brother. It's so fun to play younger characters because it's actually acceptable to be a kid again. You know you're an adult when you don't want to become one.
I get to continue studying with my teacher from home as well as learn from other teachers from different music schools around the country. It's time for grad school shopping! Or at least begin the process.
More to come.

What it looks like 2015 will hold

Hi all. Back in Cleveland for Spring semester 2015. I'm taking 24 credits. Yes you read that right, and no I haven't lost my mind. I swear. I just want to get rid of all my Gen Eds so I can take classes only about opera for my last two years at school. And I would like to study abroad, as I've already expressed several times. Plus 24 credits isn't what it sounds like. I'm taking a theater class with a bunch of football players, engineers and lawyers. I'm taking Feldenkrais and even after one class, it feels like 6 pounds has been lifted off my shoulders. It was a magical feeling. A trip to my favorite city, NYC, is on the horizon. Can't wait to see Renee and the Merry Widow at the Met, as well as CSO at Carnegie Hall. My writing class feels like my high school AP days and I fully enjoyed those days. As long as my teacher likes and approves of my writing style, that class won't be horrible either. I was given 3 new pieces to work on over break. I have a really good grasp on the Italian languge now, which is exciting. Next I'm gonna attack German, with a diction and language class. I'm starting to feel like a real singer. We are doing La Clemenza di Tito this semester, and although I'm just in the chorus, it's okay because now I can take a step back and solidify my technique for the next couple of months. We shall see what the spring scenes program brings. Then it'll be off to California! It's been amazing to see how many people are willing to donate towards my cause. It feels so good to have people believe in you and are willing to invest in you. Although I've only had a week of new semester classes, I'm super thankful that I get a three day weekend to snag a few extra hours of sleep and get to the gym too. I actually lifted weights today. My shoulders still need some serious help, so that will be a focal point of my workouts. Everything else seems to be getting back to the place I was pre-accident. Some other new year resolutions are to eat healthier, drink more water and practice everyday. So far so good. Living a healthier lifestyle feels so good. And when I feel good, I can accomplish more. I've already gotten 75% of my homework done for Tuesday and it's only Saturday night. It's certainly a shift from the end of last semester. I love a new year/semester. It gives you the opprotunity to drop bad habits and create new better ones. I'm determined to not let myself slip. As someone told me yesterday, I have too much going for me. I can't put in the work to put me above the rest and make it big. So, look out competition. Imma comin for the prize.

Until next time,
sopranodivaEm

I never look back

Think back to your first day of kindergarten. Were you excited? Scared? Think about going to that first day of kindergarten. Did you walk or drive? Did you walk with your mom or dad, or run ahead of them? Think about walking into school for the first time. Did you cry and hold onto your parent's leg for dear life and scream bloody murder? Did you even turn around and wave? 

My turn to answer all these questions. I was ecstatic to go to school. I would ask every 20 minutes if it was time to leave yet. I went to the afternoon kindergarten class. I walked to school since it was only two blocks away from home. My mom made my dad video tape the whole thing since she had to work and miss taking me to school on my first day. She was the one who cried. I walked ahead of my dad, at quite a fast pace. I'm not positive that I said goodbye to my dad as I walked into school all by myself, ready to be on my own and learn. I never turned around. 

I've lived my whole life this way. I've never turned around. First day of middle school, high school, college. All the same. I never looked back. I never wanted to. As I think about it now, I had to force myself to not turn around because if I had, I would have never been able to move forward in life. Even when I get up in the morning, I never turn and look back at my pillow and blankets that most likely look way more inviting than the 8:30am class that I have. If I did, I wouldn't go to class. I would cave and go back to bed. If I had turned around on that first day of kindergarten, I would have run back to my dad, attach myself to his leg, scream bloody murder and refuse to walk on to the next part of my life. 

It's not like I consciously am thinking all this through every time I am faced with the next part of life. It didn't really occur to me that this happens until recently. I consider this a blessing. Subconsciously, I refuse to give up and not grow. I am always ready to learn more and become better at life, better at being me, becoming the best version of me possible. 

I invite everyone to try it. Don't turn around, because only the past is behind you. Nothing about what's already happened is going to change. The only thing you have control over is what you do next. I consider this skill a super power. And it feels awesome. 

I have the Itch to Travel Again

This is actually driving me crazy. I want to hop on a plane and go to 2 major places. New York City, my favorite place in the US. And Paris. I've been to France, but not the capital. Here are reasons why.

NYC:
The Met. Duh. Renee Fleming. Of course. Major opera hub. Want to go to grad school there. Want to live there. The city offers opprotunity for so many types of people. I've been in love with the city ever since I went with my grandparents when I was in 5th grade. It was right after 9/11. The remains of the Twin Towers were still there, fenced off, with a single wooden cross right in the middle of it. At that time, it was the only part of the city that was completely silent. Now there's a museum and monument and the beginnings of construction for the new buildings. I was never scared or thought about getting on a plane to go to New York at that time. Probably because I was still too young to understand. My youngest sister is the same age now that I was for that first trip. There's still too many things she can't grasp. So even from the very beginning I was distracted by the feeling of excitement about going somewhere new. The airport experience is actually one I really enjoy. Sure, security is a pain in the ass. But it's fasinating to think about so many people coming and going from so many different places. And a plane full of people coming and going from the same place as you, but for a different reason than your own. The feeling and vibe of New York is chaotic. I've always thrived in chaos. One of my favorite places to study is a busy Starbucks. Having chaos around me helps me focus on my own thoughts and chaotic mind. It feels good to know that there are crazier people and thoughts than me. So basically, look out Julliard. I'm coming for you.

Paris:
I took French last year and finished over the summer. It's required for my major at CIM, along with taking Italian and German before I graduate. (I'm gonna take Russian too, just for kicks). I'm pretty decent at picking up languages. I think the French language is beautiful. It feels so good on my lips, I know it sounds weird. But spoken or sung, it's so elegant. Watching old movies in Paris always pull me toward it. I don't know, it feels like this city is calling me. I really want to study abroad my junior year for a semester, and study at the Paris Conservatory. I don't think you can fully know a langauage and sing it well until you have imersed yourself into a country where everyone speaks that language. I have every intention of studying in Italy and Austria to take care of those other major languages. (Austria will be summer 2016 and hopefully Italy will be 2018). I just have to talk through with my teacher about how to go about getting to Paris. I am going to a summer program in Napa Valley, CA and we are doing a production of the Tales of Hoffman. Now I'm not ready for any major part in that opera, but it is in French and it will be a great place to practice. I've sung a few art songs in French in high school, but my French was absolutely sucky back then. But I'm at the place now where I want to do something, and now I'm gonna chase after it until I get it. I'm a completely determined person, don't cha know.

Until next time,
sopranodivaEm

Almost to the end

Auditions tomorrow. Project due tomorrow. 2 finals left to study for and complete. That's it. This is another semester in the books. Another full semester in the books even. 

I think a year is too long to analyze how much you've changed. A semester is just the right about of time. About three months is plenty for a person to struggle and change and discover another part of themselves. I know I have. This semester has held a lot of firsts for me. Of course learning a role was a big part of that. It's the first time I've been away from home for more than a handful of weeks. This was three months. Juggling stress of homework and a full time rehearsal schedule is tough, but also so rewarding. I've come to attack a pile of work with this mindset, "If I can survive x, I know I can do this." And then I do it. The world doesn't end like I think it will sometimes. No one is failing at life. I haven't lost the parts of me that I've discovered. I still have my same long term goals, although I may change the steps I take to get there along the way. College is just gonna be like life, except hopefully once I'm out of college I'll be getting paid more than I am paying other people for things. Of course it won't be like that right away, it never is. But to live happily and comfortably is what everyone wants, even if they may not come right out and say it. 

That's it, that's the answer to all the worlds problems. Everyone just wants to be happy, but other people have to go in and get in the way. For all sorts of stupid reasons. If we could just allow everyone to be happy, this world would be a very different place. Some food for thought there, huh?

Until next time, 

sopranodivaEm 

Definition of Home

Back in the Cleve. Thanksgiving happened. First birthday party happened. Another tearful goodbye with the boyfriend happened. WW 3 almost breaking out in my house happened.

The Bears lost which sucked. Detroit wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I simply inserted myself back into my siblings' daily lives, hearing what I've missed the last couple of weeks. Don't even wanna go to stuff with my parents.

Cleveland has turned into home though. In Cleveland, there's a humidifer and window that opens in my room. I even like the firmness of the dorm mattress better than the fluffy sinking mattress in Chicago. I don't like my indepence being trampled on. In Cleveland, it's not. In Cleveland, I get work done. All my clothes are in Cleveland. The only thing missing are the sibs and the boyfriend.

It's strange how we define home. For some, it depends on who lives near you or with you. Sometimes it's something familiar about the direction you walk to work, or the people that make your coffee everyday and have memorized your order. For me, I think it's who I am in various places that I stay in. I like the person who I am much more when I'm at school. It feels right. Of course I miss people from 'homeland', let's call it. But I miss the version of me that I've come to understand and enjoy more. Is Cleveland where this version of me is? Is it CIM? Is it simply not that home in Chicago?

I've seen various articles about how people need to move at least 4 times in their life, because if they stay in one place for too long, they settle for who they are in that certain place. In order to grow as a person, you need to change your environment. In Cleveland I am one person, then in Chicago I resort back to a different kind of person that is becoming more a stranger to me as time goes by. I don't plan on living in Cleveland forever. I don't know if I'll ever come back. I don't know if I'll go back to Chicago later on in life either. There are so many factors that will determine where I go next. But I've already realized that my definition of home has changed, for the first time in my life.

Is this what it feels like to grow up? I'll be two decades old next week. Weird...

Until next time,
sopranodivaEm

Travel bug

I know I've posted about my obsession for traveling already before, but too bad. The online itinerary sites and apps that claim to be "easier" are the exact opposite right now, I need to remind myself more than you out there.

Some people find the task of packing absolutely boring and impossible. I am not one of those people. I have a track record of packing for any type of trip, despite the length or destination, in ten minutes. Always, and forever. Makes those last minute weekend spur of the moment things super easy. 

The rush of the airport is fascinating too. Everyone has their heads buried in their electronic devices, or dictionaries, depending on the continent. There's a good chance you'll over hear a combination of languages despite where you end up. Each traveler has a story and a plan of action to bring to life once their plane lands. It may be to finish this deal and bring home nice sized Christmas bonuses. It may be to relax. It may be to learn something. 

I don't really have a plan of anything once my plane lands this time. I know who I'm going to see, I have a pretty good idea of what I'll do. It's the first time I've been home since leaving for school in August, and this is the longest I've been from home in well, ever. Except it doesn't feel that way. It seems like I just left. It seems like this semester just started even though it's almost over. I feel like there's so much more to accomplish in 2014. And there is. But I can't do anything overly dramatic over thanksgiving break. It's not short enough to pack everything into 3 days and 2 nights. And it's not long enough to have a long short term goal. So I guess it just is. 

That's so me. Always wanting something big and exciting to happen any time I change the scenery around me. There are other times like that coming, but this isn't one of them. Is that why maybe I'm not quite as jittery as I normally am on travel day eve? 

Will I ever learn to relax and let things come as they may?

Nope. Because I'm me. 

Tune into my live Twitter feed from people watching tomorrow afternoon. 

Until next time,

sopranodivaEm