Definition of Home

Back in the Cleve. Thanksgiving happened. First birthday party happened. Another tearful goodbye with the boyfriend happened. WW 3 almost breaking out in my house happened.

The Bears lost which sucked. Detroit wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I simply inserted myself back into my siblings' daily lives, hearing what I've missed the last couple of weeks. Don't even wanna go to stuff with my parents.

Cleveland has turned into home though. In Cleveland, there's a humidifer and window that opens in my room. I even like the firmness of the dorm mattress better than the fluffy sinking mattress in Chicago. I don't like my indepence being trampled on. In Cleveland, it's not. In Cleveland, I get work done. All my clothes are in Cleveland. The only thing missing are the sibs and the boyfriend.

It's strange how we define home. For some, it depends on who lives near you or with you. Sometimes it's something familiar about the direction you walk to work, or the people that make your coffee everyday and have memorized your order. For me, I think it's who I am in various places that I stay in. I like the person who I am much more when I'm at school. It feels right. Of course I miss people from 'homeland', let's call it. But I miss the version of me that I've come to understand and enjoy more. Is Cleveland where this version of me is? Is it CIM? Is it simply not that home in Chicago?

I've seen various articles about how people need to move at least 4 times in their life, because if they stay in one place for too long, they settle for who they are in that certain place. In order to grow as a person, you need to change your environment. In Cleveland I am one person, then in Chicago I resort back to a different kind of person that is becoming more a stranger to me as time goes by. I don't plan on living in Cleveland forever. I don't know if I'll ever come back. I don't know if I'll go back to Chicago later on in life either. There are so many factors that will determine where I go next. But I've already realized that my definition of home has changed, for the first time in my life.

Is this what it feels like to grow up? I'll be two decades old next week. Weird...

Until next time,
sopranodivaEm